WWE: The Reality Show
by Pobody's Nerfect
Summary: This island ain't big enough for us. That pretty much sums up thirty days and a whole roster of WWE superstars in, what else, but an island. Follow them as they live through a month with livin', chillin' and killin' the hell out of each other. RnR!
1. Some Good News

A/N: Okay, I'm formally stating in here that I'm cancelling the sequel to 'Friendship to a Whole New Level'. I've got no ideas to continue with, and no reason to continue it. So there. But I'll get straight to the point now: The story has a main plot (the reality show thing) and a bunch of little plots. Let's hope I keep up! Oh, and I got started on this LONG, LONG, LONG before November 13, 2005, meaning Eddie Guerrero is still alive (here) and will therefore be treated as a normal character. Aryt?

Disclaimer: The WWE is not mine, because if it were mine, I wouldn't be writing FanFiction... I would make them storylines.

Summary: For some unidentified reason, Vince McMahon rewards the people from both RAW and SmackDown with a vacation to a private island somewhere in Puerto Rico, only to leave them _intentionally_ stranded and with a camera that will broadcast their candid, and, sadly, idiotic behavior on national television! Read to find out what happens when there's nothing but sun, sand, and a whole lot of chaos.

List of characters:

John Cena, Ric Flair, Triple H, Shelton Benjamin (with Momma, of course), Chris Jericho, Christian, Edge, Carlito, Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle, Rob Van Dam, Chavo Guerrero, Kane, Stone Cold, Coach (visualizes torture plans in head)(evil laugh), Bischoff, Paul London, Big Show, Billy Kidman, Booker plus Sharmell, Orlando Jordan, the three Dudleys (the hell if they're fired), Charlie Haas, Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero, Funaki, Heidenreich, JBL, Josh Mathews, Matt Morgan, Cole, Tazz, Orton, Rey Mysterio, Undertaker and GM Long

Divas: Trish Stratus, Stacy Keibler, Lita, Christy Hemme, Victoria, Maria Kanellis, Michelle McCool, Torrie Wilson, Joy Giovanni, Candice, Dawn

Plus, surprise characters are gonna be shipped in throughout the fic. Yay!

But with every entry comes eviction. Aww. Meaning I'm also gonna remove people too.

Pairings: CenaOrtonReyEddie(a.k.a. CORE), Edge/Lita, blah blah plus a surprise pairing nearing the end of the fic. (wink)

A side note: This story is in KAYFABE. Again, **KAYFABE**. Meaning their personality in WWE TV is used here. Get it?

Now that's said and done, roll it!

(3...2...1...)

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Chapter 1: Some Good News

A RANDOM EPISODE OF WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW...

Mr. McMahon's voice boomed over the PA system.

_Attention, to all superstars in the arena, please head on over to the general manager's office. Thank you._

Murmurs of "what the?" "why?" or "huh?" were floating about the stands. Finally, a camera was there at the office, with all the stars in there piling up. Bischoff was busy doing something, which looked like contract signing. Finally he came out, surprise, surprise, with a grin.

"Guys, news from the boss."

"What? I have to wear size 74 pantyhose?" Ric Flair joked. Several wrestlers groaned in disgust.

Bischoff looked distraught. "Nothing of that sort, Naich." He found everyone giving him a stare down, so to break up the stunned silence, he cleared his throat and proceeded.

"Uh..." he started hurriedly, "the real thing is that you guys are going to Puerto Rico for a month's vacation." He wiped a fake drop of sweat and let out a "whew".

Silence.

"Hello? Didn't you hear me? I said 'VA-CA-TION'." Bischoff repeated it like he was speaking to a bunch of incompetent fools and that, sadly was the case here. But anyway...

When the word 'vacation' was repeated, they started partying around, Carlito shouting out loud, in classic Caribbean accent, "NOW DATS COOL! CARLITO IS COOL!" and Shawn Michaels added "But vacation is cooler than you, CAR-LI-TO!" Then Shawn chasséd out of the corner, Chris Jericho imitating, except he added some strange dance steps in his version of Shawn's jump. Kurt Angle started doing his signature spinning thing so fast that if he spun anymore, he would take off the ground and possibly have a free but exhausting trip to someplace off. Christian was jumping around the room in happiness, which was replaced by fear when he crashed into Steve Austin. _Gulp._

"Err... hi?" he said, smiling and wriggling nervously, like a worm on a sizzling platter, trying to avoid trouble.

Stone Cold just gave him an annoyed look then walked over to another part of the room. Cena then screamed, "THE VACATION TIME IS NOW!" at the top of his lungs. Then they all did that "bunga, bunga, bunga" dance. Bischoff became freaked out by their abrupt show of immaturity. He just sighed.

FOUR DAYS LATER IN FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN...

A similar situation folded out.

Theodore Long's voice came out in the PA system. "All Smackdown superstars, please go to the General Manager's office, pronto. Thank you, gentlemen."

A very brave cameraman was in the office, where everyone was trying to squeeze their butt in. Or an ear, at the least. Long was in there, looking pleased.

"Lads, I've got good news." Theodore said, smiling ear to ear.

"You're retiring?" JBL said hopefully. _Please oh please oh please oh please--_

Long looked at him oddly. "Uh, no, tough luck for you lad. Where was I? Oh yeah, well, you guys are going on vacation to Puerto Rico for a whole month. They were jumping around in victory, particularly the cruiserweights. One jumped, the others followed, eventually building up a stack of falling... people. While that happened, Matt Morgan, in his near total isolation, seemed very pleased with the announcement.

"V-v-v-v-v-AUGH! V-v-v-v-BLEAH! V-v-v-v-vac---"

As Matt Morgan is left to his speech impediment, it was so clear, and so comedic, that everyone was jumping around like they had some kind of mental disorder. Long just laughed and shook his head. _Those playas, actin' like lil' kids_, he muttered.

Pretty soon, they became sober, God only knows how. Then some midget broke the silence.

"When are we going?"

"Wait a sec playa..." Long said, shuffling through some papers, "ah, next week."

"Got that."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Short chappie. I know. But the next will be longer. I promise.


	2. Day 1: Just The Tip of the Iceberg

A/N: As usual, RnR.

P.S. Please say if I'm too specific with certain stuff.

Mild cussing.

Oh yeah, and I'll edit my list of characters sometime soon due to the draft and releases. (done that)

If any of this stuff offends you(be as honest as you can)email me. No need for everyone else to know.

And sorry if this took like, a month or something, it's because fifth grade is hard and keeps me occupied. As a result, my brain is jammed, which could only mean one thing: writer's block.

Disclaimer: Check the first chap.

(sigh)Tons of bad, bad, humor attempts.

**DO NOT FLAME. OTHERWISE, I'LL BLOCK YOU! I MEAN IT!**

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_DAY ONE_

They've been exhausted wrestling for weeks. Finally, they would get a break. It was seven in the morning. There was a waiting plane at an airport, which was around twenty-seven miles away from the hotel. Finally, everyone got there, with their bags packed. They also had some essentials like tanning lotion and the like. Mr. McMahon was waiting there, with an evil plan. After some moments of packing their luggage in, they began to argue on who sits where.

"I take the front!" said Chavo.

"No hell way, I'm airsick!" Christian protested.

"Blind-ass, there's another seat up front!"

"Well, from what I hear, BIG SHOW has some, ahem, constipation cases? I'd bet he'll occupy four freakin' seats!"

Chavo groaned in annoyance. "Fine."

Christian snickered at his newfound victory of acquiring a front seat.

Meanwhile in the middle part...

Kurt and Shawn were fighting over a good window seat.

"I'm sitting here!"

"No I'M sitting here!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"Me!"

"I made you tap out, Shawnie!"

"Yeah, _phhhbbt_, once. And you suck."

Then they were interrupted by Coach. "Let the Coach decide who sits where."

Kurt groaned in exasperation. "Beat it, Baldo." He pushed Coach aside, and found that Shawn had took advantage of this moment to take the window seat.

"HAHA! Got here first!"

"HEY! NO FAIR!"

In another part in the middle...

Kidman and London were fighting over a well-placed lounge chair, with an ottoman and a small table with a drink holder. There were two seats, but they were beside each other, which means, a trip where there would be no peace and quiet.

"I was here first." Paul London said, about to settle on the chair.

"No, I think you stand corrected. _I _got here first."

"Know something, Billy, when we were partners back then, I never lied...NOW MOVE OVER!"

Cena was running around the plane and kinda lost control, so he wound up pushing Paul down on the chair.

"Woohoo! I got the chair! Thanks John!" Paul yelled out, slouching down.

"No prob." John replied, nearly ramming into Kane.

"Uh...how're yah doin', erh...Kane?"

Kane just gave him an odd stare, then left off to a seat as far away from Edge as possible. John just climbed in a loveseat with Randy, which was across the one of Rey and Eddie. Heidenreich took a backseat, to ensure that he could compose poems in peace. Undertaker stayed away from Kane. Carlito took a seat beside Trish. She nearly freaked.

"Get out, you big, fat, loony pig!" she hissed under her breath.

Carlito jumped back in shock. "Okay..." This time he went beside Christy, who walloped him with a wooden hairbrush. He sat beside Michelle, who stepped on his foot so bad, that he had to leave. In the end, he settled for the vacant recliner beside London's.

"What are you doing here?" asked a casually seated Paul, who was idly flipping through a SmackDown magazine and listening to a CD.

"I've got nowhere to sit! Dammit, these guys aren't cool!"

Paul was rather annoyed by Carlito's constant whining, so he just turned up the volume of his CD player from 5 to 10 to avoid any further complaints.

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

In the end, the seating became:

Front Row(left to right): Big Show, Christian, Tomko, both GMs

Second Row: Chavo, Coach, Booker T and Sharmell, Trish, Joy, Jackie

Third Row: Shawn, Cole, Tazz, Mathews, Kane, Angle

Fourth: Dawn, Stacy, Victoria, Michelle

Fifth Row: (this actually occupied two rows' space because it's a grouping of couches and blah blah) Cena and Orton in a loveseat, Rey and Eddie in a loveseat, Charlie and Miss Jackie in a loveseat as well, Edge and Lita in one too. Carlito in a recliner, London on a lounge chair.

Sixth Row: Evolution, Batista, Benoit, Jericho, Shelton, Momma, Billy Kidman

Seventh Row: Bashams, JBL, Orlando, RVD, Undertaker, Muhammad and Daivari

Last Row: Dudleys, Heidenreich, SCSA

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

5 HOURS LATER...

They finally arrived. Puerto Rico, a great place to relax. After a bunch of guys loaded their things out of the airplane, Mr. McMahon removed the airplane's engine and left around 3 television cameras around there. Nobody saw him. Everyone was busy piling up inside cabins. McMahon then escaped via a glider that he had, which he used to go to another ship, not so far away.

Triple H was playing leader. "Alright," he started, "who sleeps with who?"

Rob, Rey, Eddie, and Chavo were taking a cabin. The Divas took one big cabin except for Sharmell, Torrie, Lita, and Miss Jackie, who were married. The Dudleys, Morgan, and Taker were in one-only because they had to keep Kane and Taker away from each other. The married couples, who were Booker-Sharmell, Haas-Jackie, Lita-Edge, and Torrie-Billy took a big cabin. Kane, Stone Cold, Kurt Angle, and Hardcore took one. Cole, Tazz, Mathews, and Funaki took one cabin. Of course there was Evolution, Cena and Orton. Muhammad, Daivari, the Bashams, OJ, and JBL took one. Benoit, London, Chris Jericho, Shelton, and Christian took another. Big Show, Tomko, Kane, and Heidenreich took one smaller-sized cabin with sturdy beds. The GMs and the Coach took one of the adjoining cabins, which was the one beside the cabin with the big guys. Evolution took the last one, which was also the biggest one.

So the cabin arrangements were:

Cabin 1:   
>>RVD-Rey-Eddie-Chavo  
Cabin 2:  
>>Trish-Stacy-Christy-Victoria-Dawn-Michelle  
Cabin 3:  
>>Spike, D-Von, and Bubba Ray Dudley-Matt Morgan-Undertaker  
Cabin 4:  
>>OJ-JBL-B.Bros.-Hassan-Daivari-Carlito  
Cabin 5:  
>>Booker-Sharmell-Charlie-Jackie-Lita-Edge-Torrie-Billy  
Cabin 6:  
>>Benoit-London-Jericho-Shelton-Christian  
Cabin 7-A:  
>>Big Show-Tomko-Kane-Heidenreich  
Cabin 7-B:  
>>T. Long-Bischoff-Coach  
Cabin 8:  
>>Evolution, Orton, Batista, Cena

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© 

Now that they were settled in, it was time for lunch. They headed back inside the plane, where there was a restaurant. After a big lunch, they all headed out to explore.

(scenes will be written in divisions by cabin. Note that some scenes do not involve everyone residing in that particular cabin.)

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©© 

CABIN 1-2:17 PM

Rob was with Rey, drinking a bottle of wine. So far, he'd finished half of it.

"Uh...Rob? You're turning red.. really really red." Rey said to his extremely drunk friend.

"Nice try, Rey Rey!" he retorted, this time spilling the cold alcoholic drink on his head.

Rey just sighed. _Do what you want, Rob,_ he thought, _but don't say I didn't tell ya._ He rushed outside to shore to join Eddie, who was in a motorboat, which was labeled _Rico Raza_ on the side.

"Hey_ holmes_! Wanna join?"

"Sure!"

They climbed in the four-seater motorboat, Chavo in the backseat.

"Hey Rey, Chavito, no fighting, _o nos ahogaremos!_"(meaning "or else we'll drown!")

The two nodded and Eddie started the boat.

In the backseat, Chavo was writing in his journal. Rey brought a camera with him, hoping to sight some nice things along the way. He looked behind him to find a good subject for a photo. And there he saw, Chavo was writing.

"Well, what do we have here?" Rey teased, snatching the journal out of Chavo's grasp. Before Chavo could protest, Rey began to read it out loud.

"I really love----" Rey started but trailed off when Chavo snatched it back.

"UNCLE EDDIE, REY IS INTERFERING WITH MY BUSINESS!"

"Well, it serves you right for screwing us up before!" Eddie said in response.

Chavo just groaned, slouched back, and clutched his journal tighter.

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 2-2:54 PM

The divas were gossiping about how Chavo forgot to wear his boot in a recent match.

"I mean, he looked so stupid! Like he mismatched a shoe or something!" Christy exclaimed, laughing her head off. Same with the others.

"And did you see that odd pink thing in his sock? It was like, a piece of gum or something!" Stacy added, laughing even more.

Trish began to speak. "And then, his sock was stuck on the canvas and then he had to take it off! I mean, his foot seemed to have fungus on it! Torrie, you should've been there!" she said, rolling on the floor laughing, and looking at the Women's Champion. Torrie, who just entered the cabin and sat beside her, just laughed and got some popcorn from a nearby bowl.

"I don't think Chavo's even deserving of a title shot!" Torrie said.

"Now you're talking!" Christy said, beginning to laugh again.

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 3-3:07 PM

The Dudleys weren't done eating. They had an enormous pizza in their cabin, but they realized that they didn't have a surface area. Spike, as always, being the "boss" of the Dudleys, gave his older brother, D-Von, a command.

"D-von?"

"Yes?"

"Get a table."

"Sure thing."

He arrived a few seconds after, with a small wood table in his hands.

Matt Morgan just entered the cabin.

"Can I have p-p-p-p-p--" he began but Spike cut him off.

"What? Paracetamol pills? Powder? Popcorn? Pakistan? Persecution? Porcelain parrot puppets? What do you want?"

"P-p-p-pizza."

"Help yourself." Spike said, a little annoyed.

Undertaker came in. He brightened at the sight of the pizza.

"Pizza, you will rest in peace!" Undertaker said, grabbing a slice.

"More like, in his stomach." Bubba Ray whispered to D-Von.

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 4-3:29 PM

"Ey, OJ." Doug said, entering the room. Orlando couldn't help but notice that something was weird with Doug's foot.

"Doug? Consider looking down."

He then saw that one of his socks was slimed green, and the other was white.

"WHAAAAT! Who put this here?"

"Look outside. I think you'll have an answer." He turned to the window and saw that Coach was fooling around with some green hydrochloric acid.

"H-h-h-hyd-do-chl-loric ac-cid?" Doug said looking at his foot. "YEOW MOMMY!" he said, clutching his burning foot. "Jonathan Coachman, you will pay!"

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 5-4:12 PM

"Sharmell?" Booker asked his wife. "Smell something?"

"Smell what?" she replied.

"Something outside."

"Yeah I smell it."

"Let's check it out."

They also witnessed Coachman fooling around with the acid.

"Yo sucka! What the hell--" Booker said. He didn't intend for what would happen next.

Coach dropped the bottle of acid in shock. It landed on his foot.

"YEOWWWWWWW MAMA! AAAAAAAAH!" he screamed as the burning solution spilled on his foot. "IT HURTS! AAAAAAAAAAH! I WANT MY MOMMY! SAVE ME LORD!"

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 6-4:23 PM

Paul was sitting informally on a bed, just listening to one of his CDs. Chris Benoit came in.

"Hey Paul."

"Hi Chris."

Chris plopped down on another bed. Chris Jericho then entered the cabin, soaked to the bone.

"Hey Paul, hey Chris."

"Hi Chris. What happened to you?"

"Just went for a dip." Christian then entered.

"Hi Paul, hi Chris, hi Chris."

"Hey Christian."

He sat down beside Chris Jericho. As if on cue, Shelton went in.

"Hey Paul, Chris, Chris, Christian."

"Hey Shelb." They replied in a bored manner.

Momma then entered.

"Shelton, have you had yo breakfast yet?" she said, with her remarkable accent.

"Yes mom."

"What did you eat?"

"--"

"Don't start. I kno' you had a protein bar, young man."

"SPEAK!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright. Now you come with me, Momma gon' getcha somethin' decent to eat."

Snickering followed.

"I'm bored. What do we do now?" asked Jericho.

"How about a name calling marathon?" Christian suggested.

"You're on, creepy little bitch!" Paul replied, officially beginning the game.

"I'm a bitch, but look at your ass in the ring-no need to be so pompous about it!" Christian replied.

"Both of you are bitchy arrogant assclowns!" Jericho said.

"Oh look, it's the king of ANNOY-ING!" Christian said.

"Oh yeah, look behind you." he retorted.

Chris Benoit was walking to them.

"Hello, Christian. Hello, Chris Lame-ico."

"NOBODY CALLS CHRIS JERICHO THAT! Beat this!" He then did a mockery of the Crippler Crossface sign, at the same time, singing in an odd, childish melody the words 'put a smile on your face wherever you go!'.

"NOBODY TELLS CHRIS BENOIT WHAT TO DO!" Benoit said, mocking what Jericho had said a moment ago.

"Black idiot." Jericho muttered. It took a while for Benoit to realize he was talking about Shelton, who seemingly returned.

"I HEARD THAT, LION-HAIRED FREAK!"

"OH YEAH? HAVE YOU CONSIDERED WHITENING LOTION?"

"HAVE YOU CONSIDERED A HAIRCUT?"

"GRRR!"

"GRRR!"

"Toasted and roasted fag."

"Lion hair."

"Brainless bunch of chickens." Christian said to them.

"Do we have chicken beaks?" Jericho said.

"I didn't mean it literally."

"Well, you called them chickens." Paul said.

"You know what Paul? You're so-o-o-o out of place. You're the only kid 'round here who doesn't know what 'charisma' is."

"Kid? KID! I'm 25! And so what if I'm out of place?"

"Uhh..."

"AHA! LIAR! You're not Captain 'Charisma' after all!" he said, doing the weird side-to-side gesture when he said 'Charisma'.

"HEY! EVERYONE NEEDS TIME TO THINK!"

"But I thought you were Captain 'Charisma'." he said, doing the gesture again.

He decided to ignore it this time. Instead, he brought up a new topic.

"You know, Paul, when I said 'chickens' awhile ago, I also meant you."

"CHICKEN! I AM NOT CHICKEN!"

"BAAK BAAK! OOOOH, LOOK AT ME I'M PAUL LONDON, AND I'M A BIG, FAT, SCARY CHICKEN!"

"BIG! FAT! SCARY! For your info, Captain 'Charisma'," he started, doing the gesture again, "YOU are bigger, YOU are fatter, and you're not scary!"

Christian rolled his eyes. He decided he had enough of Paul London's childish retorts. "When I thought Benoit was fat." he grumbled.

"I HEARD THAT!"

"SO!"

"Beat this old man." He then did the 'Captain Charisma' gesture, robot-style, countless time until he made the "robot" break down.

"OLD MAN? YOU'RE OLDER!"

"Well at least I can wrestle, not just whistle."

Jericho had to interrupt, realizing what time it was.

"Uh guys? It's 6:11."

"So? We're having fun."

Jericho put a hand on his head. "Oh boy..."

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 7-A-6:11 PM

Heidenreich had just finished his "disaster piece". He began to read it out loud to Kane, Tomko, and Big Show, who were playing a domino effect type game, in which they made a WWE logo design which worked.

"Big Show and Kane and Tyson Tomko,  
Were all playing a game of falling dominoes,  
That WWE logo design may have worked,  
But the next one will really flurk!"(no such word)

The three seemed offended with what he said. Big Show positioned him for a chokeslam, but Kane reached for Heidenreich's neck as well.

"I was first!" Big Show said.

"No I was!" Kane retorted, still clutching on to his neck.

"ME!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"YOU!"

"YOU!" Big Show, realizing what he said, cupped his mouth.

"HAHA! I got him first. Now Heidenreich, you will rest in peace!" He chokeslammed him, but then Big Show speared an unsuspecting Kane onto a more unsuspecting Heidenreich, leaving the impact of Big Show's head, Big Show himself, and Kane's weight on Heidenreich. Big Show is 493 pounds. Kane is 326 pounds. The impact of the head is about 453 pounds. Total? 1,272 pounds on Heidenreich. That HAD to hurt.

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 7-B

"Teddy?" Eric asked.

"'Sup, dawg?" Long replied.

"I was just wondering...WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO--"

"Easy there playa, I know. You wanted to ask me what happened to Coach. Well, his foot got burned with hydrochloric acid and--" He was cut off by Eric.

"NOOOO! MY POOR SWEETHEART!" Eric said in a soap opera woman voice. Realizing what he had just said, he cupped his mouth. Long began laughing his head off.

"What's gotten into your mind, playa?"

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

CABIN 8

Ric Flair was playing a Mortal Kombat© video game. Whenever his character would get hit, he would let out a loud "WOOOOOOOOOO!" And since his character was a vulnerable one, the cabin would be 'emitting' a "WOOOOOOOOOO!", which in turn, began annoying Randy.

"Shut up Flair!" he screamed.

Ric's character got hit again. "WOOOO!"

"I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!"

As usual, his character got jabbed. "WOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"WOOOOOO!"

"SHUT UP!"

"WOOOOOO!"

5 MINUTES LATER...

Randy groaned. "I give up!"

"WOOOOOOOOOOO!"

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

GROUP GATHERING AT SHORESIDE-8:28 PM

They had a truth or dare game, spin the bottle style. They formed one big circle with the bottle in the center. Triple H spun the bottle. It then landed on Jericho.

"So, Chris, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Evolution huddled and discussed a good dare. They began snickering.

"Alright," Triple H said, trying to contain himself, "I dare you to french kiss Christian's butt!"

"WHAT! No wa--" Jericho had barely been able to finish his sentence.

"Chris the chicken...and chickens get thrown into the water by the use of a forklift."

"You call me a chicken--NOBODY CALLS CHRIS JERICHO THAT!"

Triple H just rolled his eyes. "Just French kiss the butt!"

"FINE!"

And so he did it. Everybody either turned around or groaned, but whatever they did, it was an expression of disgust.

Triple H went off to the bottle again. This time it landed on Stone Cold.

"What've you damn bastards got in store for Stone Cold's ass?"

Evolution huddled again. "I dare you to dance with a crab!" Hunter said.(ri-ight, so suddenly HHH is called Hunter)

Stone Cold was laughing HARD. "Did...you...HAHA...just...(snicker)...s-say that..out...(snicker)of your fuckin' ass!" He cut himself off laughing harder.

Hunter shrugged. "Yeah, I just said dance with a crab." He tossed a big crab to him. Stone Cold tried to sustain his laughter but couldn't as he began throwing the crab around like a rag doll, about to have its joints cut off. He eventually threw the crab into the seawater and carried on laughing all the way to his place. Hunter spun the bottle again. This time, it landed on Edge.

"What're ya gonna make me do, huh, Hunter? Suck on raw fish?" Edge said, snickering.

"Actually, I never had to bring it up..."

"I'll take that as a yes." Edge found some raw fish, but before he could suck on it, Stone Cold raised his hand, supposedly going to ask or say something.

"What's this talk about seafood?"

Hunter turned to Evolution.

"Well? What's this about seafood?"

Ric shrugged. "WOOOOOOOOOO!"

Hunter looked at him sternly. "What did I say about the WOOOOO-ing?"

Ric bowed his head down. "Don't do it in public."

Triple H turned around to Edge. "Just suck the fish." And so he did. After sucking the fish, he lost balance and fell on the crab that was assaulted by Stone Cold, which pinched his butt.

"MOMMY! IT HURTS! I WANT MOMMY!" Edge began screaming. Pretty soon, he was running around the beach uncontrollably. Everyone tried to chase him, but no-o-o, it didn't pay off...that is, until they got Kane to kick him. Feeling the kick, Edge backfired and exchanged blows with the 7-footer, leading to more carnage.

"Alright, all hands in the air!" Randy said. Everyone threw their hands up.

Randy smiled in satisfaction. "Good. So which assclown--" Jericho cut him off.

"HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!"

"So!"

"COUNTERFEIT!"

"Fine. Which _asshole_ pushed Kane there?"

No hands shot up.

Randy repeated the question. "I said, WHICH ASSHOLE PUSHED KANE THERE?"

Suddenly, Chris (Benoit) pulled Carlito's hand up. "Orton, he did it!"

Randy looked furious. "ASSHOLE!" He then chased chased Carlito into the woods nearby. The Carribean native began chanting "NOT COOL! RANDY ORTON NOT COOL! CARLITO COOL!" repeatedly as he got chased into the grove of trees.

(end of night)

©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

Well, that's the chaos in one day.

How much will there be tomorrow?

Who/what is Chavo's secret love?

How bad does Undertaker want his pizza?

What kind of payback will Doug have for the Coach?

How long will Chris, Jericho, Shelton, Christian and Paul call each other ridiculous names?

Find out in day two-coming soon.(I might make them act more like preschoolers-stupidheaded preschoolers, so beware.) Oh, and about Big Show spearing Kane, well, I don't know how he did that.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I want you guys to decide on a pairing. If you have a slash(no femslash, PLEASE)pairing in mind, e-mail me. Check my profile page.


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